a good place to be

Lots of hugging and cuddles going on here. It’s amazing what little things in life can jerk your soul.  {I seem to need a lot of jerking to keep me focused!} ::wink::

Needless to say…

Eternity has been on the the brain this year and all the more since last Tuesday. Trust me, It’s a good place to be.

The afternoon of Tuesday, July 30th 2013 

I laid down for a two hour nap with my 15 month old. I was tired, exhausted and thought I’d try and rest. {Rare moment for me.}
Upon waking up, I had terrible pain in my abdomen causing terrible cramps and heavier bleeding {feminine matters.} I thought nothing of it. And just tried
to move on with my day. An hour or so later, I began to bleed uncontrollably. That is when I knew something was wrong. I called my husband – to warn him of my decision
of goin to the ER. He was working several hours away, and knew he’d want to be there, as soon as he could get there.

If you know me personally – I avoid doctors and the emergency room like the plague. I don’t want to make a big deal out of something so minor. If anything – I procrastinate too long before I go in. It was evident this wasn’t anything to play around with. I ended up changing my clothes 3 times before giving up – deciding I’d just wrap myself in a towel around my already soaked clothing and headed out the door. During this time my husband had called his Mom to see if she was home to take me to the hospital. It ended up that my mother in law and sister-in-law were
both at home.

I had my two oldest gather children extra clothes for the little guys and told them to get in the van, so their Nana could take them to her house. My children were scared, and I proceeded to stay calm and reassure them I was getting help. It was kind of hard to hide so much blood. My 6 year old son J asked me in a worried voice: “Mommy, how did you cut yourself?” My 3 year old I – asked: “Where is your owie?  

My mother-in-law and sister-in-law finally arrive at our home.  {Just a few miles away from us.} And I hopped in
my SIL’s car and we went on our way to the hospital an hour away.

We drove a good steady speed. SIL was good at talking to keep my mind off of all the pain and bleeding. I was literally sitting in pooling blood, while two towels and a
trash bag occupied my seat. I began feeling sick and started getting stronger pain in my abdomen, I seriously thinking I was having another miscarriage.  I told my SIL it was okay if she drove faster. We drove with our hazard lights on almost the whole way there. And of course we hit the big city in rush hour! We were able to slip in and out of traffic like butter
with our lights and it was evident the Lord had his hand on our course.

Upon arriving at the emergency room – I was able to get in right away. I don’t think they had a problem noticing it was a real emergency. I mean, If waddling
into the ER with two blood soaked towels and a trash bag wrapped around you with blood pouring down down your legs doesn’t look serious enough – than there’s a serious problem with your eyes. ::sarcastic laugh::

Beyond this point, I waited to be wheeled back into the ER room from triage. Within those few minutes I began feeling sick, dizzy and my abdomen felt like
it was going to explode. {I’ve birthed 5 children with ‘no meds’ and the pain wasn’t as bad – but, it was awful and nothing like I’ve ever experienced!}

Upon entering the ER room I was whisked to the bed hurriedly. I remember being asked many questions while they tried to stop the bleeding. They immediately started getting me hooked up
to IV’s in each arm, while putting a catheter in. {I have no idea how many people were in that room.}  But, a woman at least needs a sheet for comfort! I remember thinking was so, thankful, I don’t know any of these people personally – because all dignity was lost laying there on that bed!

My blood pressure was checked almost immediately upon my arrival to the ER. It was 50. I didn’t realize the severity of that number until later. I began to have a hard time breathing while they were working.

I was told that I was going into emergency surgery, while they were hooking me up to all kinds of stuff. They looked inside my abdomen with an ultra sound machine, and I was told I had blood all around my stomach and organs. And they weren’t able to stop any of the bleeding.

My SIL went out to call my husband {who was still driving}, and to call my parents, to tell them all that I would be going into immediate surgery.

My blood pressure kept plummeting, and I was having a very difficult time breathing. I remember feeling like I just needed to close my eyes and sleep. It was then I was put on Oxygen. And had a sweet nurse that stood by my side the whole time holding my hand and helping me concentrate on the breathing. I was having a very difficult time. I felt as though I could just close my eyes and go to sleep. I was tired and it took everything I had to just breathe. The Lord was watching over every step of the way. I am very thankful that I never slipped into coma! I just kept laying there trying to breathe and wanting my husband there. I honestly believed that I was not going to make it. Once the breathing was under control, it was then I realized the severity
of the situation all the more. I just wanted to tell my husband I loved him, one last time, and I realized I never got to hug all 5 of my Munchkins, before I hurriedly left for the hospital.

While I was still taking deep breaths I said a quick prayer for the Lord to just take good care of my family. {It was hard to pray, I was tired, but I knew the Lord knew what words I was trying to say.} I was also so thankful that my husband and I have life insurance. {Yes, that went through my mind!} haha. It was truly a relief.

I looked over and saw my husband coming in the door, just as they were getting ready to wheel me into surgery. Then the doctor said “Let me try ONE MORE thing”

And during this short moment she was able to remove a ginormous blood clot {piece by piece she said}, and gave me more dose of medicine to help stop the bleeding. Also clearing as much blood as she could from the insides out. It was the 5th round of medicine I was given to stop the bleeding – and this time it WORKED! The blood stopped flowing! I
was finally “stable”.

Stable. I remember hearing that word. And I was overwhelmed with gratefulness.

Much later then the events above – they tried to see if I could sit up. The nurse helped bring my bed up and immediately my heart rate and blood pressure kept plummeting once again. I was quickly laid back down and given more fluids.

During this time my parents were able to come in and they stayed with my husband and I while I was being monitored and getting more fluids.

After more time had passed they wanted to try and sit me up again. While my bed was being lifted once again – my blood pressure and heart rate
plummeted dramatically. The doctor said that my body was just too weak, and I really needed a blood transfusion. They were able to hook me up immediately because they had already had blood ready for me due to the emergency surgery plan.

After the first transfusion they waited to see how my body would react and if my blood pressure and heart rate would climb. {They didn’t budge!}

So the doctor ordered another blood transfusion. My husband amused me while I was on my 2nd transfusion.

“Scientists estimate the volume of blood in a human body to be approximately 7 percent of body weight. An average adult body with a weight of 150 to 180 pounds will contain approximately 4.7 to 5.5 liters (1.2 to 1.5 gallons) of blood. An average child with a body weight of 80 pounds will
have approximately half the amount of blood as an adult.”Considering my weight isn’t even close to those numbers, and my blood loss was vast – the stats didn’t look so hot for me.We are so thankful that God had a handle on this situation BEFORE I even entered that emergency room door.

This health issue was definitely scary, but very God controlled. The outcome could have come out differently. Though the Lord knew the plan! Needless to say, laying on that emergency room bed, struggling to breath, and losing blood faster than the doctors could control. I began to believe these were my last minutes of life – and my husband and I were told by the doctor and nurses that I gave them a scare – they weren’t sure I was going to make it a few times. God already had a plan and had it under control! I am very thankful to be here today, and blessed to be
breathing.

I’m told with so much blood loss it will take my body several weeks to “get back to normal.” It’s been a week today. I’m getting stronger, but I’m realizing it will take some time. My husband and babies need me – and I’m doing my best to gain my strength and get back to normal. But for the mean time. I must rest. Rest in God’s goodness and grace.

I thought I was tired BEFORE all this happened. But truly, nothing compares to a very weak and tired body. It’s the “folding one load of laundry and I want to
fall asleep” kind of tired. Or the “walk up one small flight of stairs huffing and puffing- trying to gain your breath” kind of tired.  ::yawn: I must never, ever complain about being tired again. EVER.

The kids are back home with us. They are all being very helpful, and understand that Mommy must rest. Our Church family has lined up meals for us. {Which has been a HUGE
blessing!} My husband went back to work – though I’m not so sure he’s caught up on sleep from such a lively event. He’s been working so hard, and coming home and he helps me with so many little and big things that mean so much. Like shredding zucchini to freeze, or helping change sheets on the bed etc… I’m SO very blessed. ::heart melt::

Blessed be the Lord , Because He has heard the voice of my supplications! The Lord is my strength and my shield; My heart trusted in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart greatly rejoices, And with my song I will praise Him.  Psalm 28:6