adoption, we really can’t afford it

It’s true – my husband and I don’t have the $25,864 sitting in our savings or checking account {$25,864 is the amount we have left for our adoption.} I totally get what they are wondering, and really what they are asking:  “why are you adopting if you can’t afford it?”

After reviewing a report for the New York Times that was put out last year, I was rather enlightened to find out that the
average total price for a pregnancy as well as newborn care ran about $30,000 for a vaginal delivery, and $50,000 for a C-section, with insurers paying out an average of $18,329 – $27,866 respectively.

People give birth while relying on insurance to bear the brunt
of the costs. However, when one chooses to adopt there is no insurance to fall back on. I’ve delivered 5 babies, 3 of them were covered under a self employed insurance. 1 under an employers insurance and 1 of our babies was completely out of pocket – during a 2 years span when we were without medical insurance.

The stats above strike something interesting when set side by side. They really aren’t much different at all.

We have sensed a small streak of criticism surrounding the fact that we
are in the process of adopting because we already have 5 biological children, {I mean, who needs more children right?!} I will clear this up – to us Children are a blessing, and we accept them as nothing less. we’re willing to accept what the Lord has in store for us. And no, we don’t yet have the necessary funds to pay for the complete adoption process, we never had the cost of our other children up front either. I understand that some feel that if one is pursuing
adoption, they should be able to pay for it. I totally get that thinking. But, over a few years time, our hearts have been stirred in a different direction.

It ultimately all comes down to this…

God always provides when He opens the doors.

God has always provided the funds we’ve needed for each of our 5 biological births.We are confident that God will show Himself faithful once again, through our adoption! He’s opened the adoption door, we’ve walked through, and we’ve already seen provisions that just weren’t there previously. Sometimes these provisions come so very last minute, in our book. But, He’s always been faithful. And His timing keeps us ever trusting His faithfulness.

We’ve never doubted that God will provide for our adoption. but I will admit I find myself being too prideful to seek out the help that we need. No one likes to depend on other people for things. {Okay, the average hard working Joe anyway.} But my husband and I’s hearts and eyes have been opened to a new way of looking at adoption. Probably because we are now on the adoption side of the fence? Something that has been brought to our attention over and over again since we started our adoption process. God uses people to be His hands and His feet. We are thankful to those of you whom have listened and obeyed His prompting.

If we are believers we are part of the body of Christ. We are His hands, His feet, His Heart, His Eyes.

“I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.”  John 14:18

What does God do? He goes to the orphans {those who are without parents.} How does He accomplish this? Through us. The body of Christ, His feet, His hands, His heart, His eyes.

It’s clear – GOD SPONSORS ADOPTION. And we are in service to Him to help give these parent-less children homes.

Mr. Ludy shares these biblical commands concerning adoption:

• VISIT {look upon in order to help} Going out of our way to look upon the needs that are on God’s heart, and asking Lord, how can I help?
  
  
• STRENGTHEN – we are to position ourselves to practically meet the needs of the vulnerable and the weak. Whether that is to strengthen biological families and keep families together or whether that it is receiving in the children that are abandoned, abused, diseased, and dying. Every child is unique, and every situation is unique, the goal is to help enable the child or helpless to give the child a better footing in life.
  
  
• GOSPELTEER – we are to vigorously pray for the children that God assigns to our care. We are to pray for their souls, pray that these little ones will come to know the Truth and that the Truth will, indeed set them free. And we must seek a way to preaching to their souls the grand Truths of saving the work of Jesus Christ.

• ADOPT – we are to labor to see these solitary set in families. It would either be impossible or inappropriate to set them back in their biological families, then we are to seek to set them in families that are desirous for adoption, strong Christ-governed, and able to parent with wisdom and grace.

“By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him? My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.“  1 John 3:16-18

5 thoughts on adopting, when you can’t afford it from our perspective:

1.) AFFORDING AN ADOPTION IS NOT THE SAME AS AFFORDING A CHILD – Personally our family lives frugally, my husband works long hours, and we also run our small home based business, as extra income. We’ve been learning and continue to do so, finding new ways to save for things before we purchase things. Living this lifestyle makes it very possible to afford children on a day to day basis, along with medical needs our child will need. Affording an adoption is different – because all monies are required in a very short amount of time, and it’s usually VERY big chunks of money up front. We trust God, the one who opened the door in the first place towards adoption. We believe he will finish and complete this work, through the whole process. He is faithful.


2.) IT’S ALL HIS ANYWAY – My husband and I have come to the conclusion, that asking others to join in our adoption is not a bad thing. Though it is one of the most uncomfortable and very humbling positions we’ve ever been in.  But by doing so, we realized we are allowing and encouraging others to do what we as Christians are already commanded to do. {1 John 16-18} We are giving others a position to help an orphan. When we do this. It’s so easy to advocate {speak up} for orphans, the unborn, the widow, the weak and the poor. But true advocating looks much differently when we aren’t just speaking in word or in tongue. It’s when we  actually get our hands dirty doing the work. Our homes, vehicles, money, our everything is the Lord’s anyway. It’s all been given to us on loan so to speak. Should any of us be holding so tightly to what the Lord has given to us so freely to help others? He blesses way beyond when we sacrifice and give to others. Be it in our homes, or through giving. **Now this must be used properly and carefully. The way you approach and gather friends and family to join, does matter. {Many fundraiser letters will turn away, not gather.} If you choose to write a letter – pray about it first, think it entirely through. How would your response be if you received your letter? Put yourself in the receiver’s shoes.

3.) DEPEND FULLY ON GOD –  AND WATCH HIM WORK – God wants nothing more then us to depend fully on Him, every step of the way! When my husband and I do this, we’ve been brought to literal tears. For many things over the years in our marriage. He is so very faithful! Part of depending on God is being wise with what you’ve been given. I love giving gifts to my children. I LOVE watching their eyes light up. God does the same thing! Often times when we least expect it. God has been providing for our adoption needs, and they are normally not early, but always right on time. : )  God is providing, funds through people, through our extra sales through our side business, our garden produce, and a few natural products and baked goods, the funds never come early, but they never come late, just the right amount we need at the very time we need it. Always enough to help us out, but not enough to sit, relax or be lazy. ; ) {It’s good to keep working and be reminded we can’t slack off, we continually depend on Him, but we still must work hard.}

4.) GOD’S PROVISION, WILL BECOME AN AMAZING PART OF YOUR CHILD’S STORY
I can’t wait to tell our little one how SO many people loved her before she was even placed in our arms. Before we even knew her, people prayed, they gave time and money to help us bring her home. I can’t wait to tell her how God laid everything out for us, how He prepared people’s hearts ahead of time. We pray she feels loved and extremely valuable. We pray that she will learn to understand that her birth mother {and maybe even father} were hero’s in our book, that she/he were LIFE GIVERS. We pray our little one will one day even through struggles and tears understand that her birth Momma made a decision of love, and that she was chosen for a new family and loved before she ever even arrived in our arms. We pray she will see her “birth story” saturated with God’s love and goodness.

5.) DON’T MAKE MAJOR DECISIONS SOLELY BASED ON YOUR POCKET BOOK

 Some people will probably disagree with this but, we have found it to be good advice. {We’re even Dave Ramsey fans, here!} ::gasp:: Money is very important and affects almost every area of everyone’s lives, but it should not be the main deciding factor when making a big life decision with God’s work. If the only thing holding someone back from adopting is money, we’d like to encourage you strongly to reconsider. If you are wise with your finances, and you are living within your means, and your family seeks after God’s will, takes care of what He’s given you already, and you work hard and trust the Lord to open and close doors, to provide for your needs – then what’s stopping you? Pray for wisdom, pray that God would open or close doors. Ask Him how you can  serve Him, with what you already have, and see what doors will open.

Like I mentioned before, people think we’re absolutely crazy to adopt especially when we have 5 biological children already. Doesn’t the world think we’re crazy anyway? ::giggle:: ; ) It all comes down to God’s command on caring for the least of these:

 

• The fatherless, orphans & the widows
• The persecuted Church
• The impoverished
• Prisoners & slaves
• Sick & elderly
• Refugees & foreigners
• The unborn
• The unsaved

 

My husband and I are not just going to sit around and talk about adoption anymore – we’ve decided it’s time to actually DO something about it! And God clearly made that evident in many ways.

We’ve been told numerous times that the Lord has given our family a “special calling”. I hate to break it to them, EVERYONE has a “special calling”! Any person saved through God’s grace, is commanded to care for the least of these. And we need to figure out how God can use us to accomplish this command.

“Open your mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.“ Proverbs 31:9-10

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He has anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed;“ Luke 4:18

When you drive through the streets, you’ll find vehicle after vehicle costing much, much more than an average adoption. Many will not even blink an eye when it comes to the financing that must be done {for most people, not all} to attain a vehicle. Let me be clear – we are not advocating debt! We believe one must be very wise with their finances. And sometimes comparing an adoption to a vehicle purchase is used to bring into balance the importance of souls. When one goes to purchase a vehicle and must finance their new asset, no one thinks twice. But, when it comes to giving an orphaned child a  h o m e, it’s often widely disgruntled in  the modern Christian society. These ‘little investments’ are children – little souls, who need to know the love and comfort of a family, and who most importantly need Jesus. A financed vehicle will burn up one day. A soul lives on eternally. And if the free gift of salvation is accepted, they will live eternally with the Lord. That is absolutely beautiful in our book.

Our little one is WORTH every sweat drop, every tear shed, every penny spent, every waiting moment, and so, so much more. She’s deeply loved.

As Christians we are to defend the weak, to care for the poor, the widows and the orphans. Our job is to stand up and be Jesus. His feet, His hands, His heart, His eyes.

How this all works out, will look different for each and everyone of us. This very large task is very  challenging for any modern day Christian. It does cost so much! Our money, our hard work, our time, our undying love.  Though…

“We still have a window and door that is ajar. We still have an opportunity and a strength to make a difference in this world, where very few Christians on earth can. We have been given truth for such an hour.” – Eric Ludy

“As an American Christian {right now, anyway} we have been given a great opportunity. We are in a position that many Christians around the world are not. Right now, our hands are not tide, our feet still have freedom, we can travel abroad almost anywhere in the world, because of this freedom. There are things that we can accomplish for the Lord, that many Christians in this world can’t. The Lord has given us a mighty strength for today, and we STILL have the freedom to do it! We’ve been given strength, but not to pile it up in our own backyard. It’s to spend it! You’ve been given a home – open the door and say “God this belongs to you!” – Eric Ludy 

 

So in reality, my husband and I really can’t afford our adoption, but then at the same time – how can we not afford it? God has clearly and very specifically laid out in His Word that we have a job to do. And when we band together with Christ on our side – we CAN conquer the unthinkable, and the out right crazy!

When we practice compassion, it brings us ever so closer to the Lord. He paid so much for us on that cross. Reaching our hand out to the needy, the parent-less child, is so little compared to what He’s done and continually gives us.

It’s time to give ourselves away, with everything we have. My hands are open – use me Lord.

This post is linked up with: A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Raising Homemakers, We Are That Family,