The kids and I set our hoard of library books on the counter when all of a sudden I hear “Esther! How are you doing? It’s so good to see you!” There she was, that sweet familiar face and smile I’ve seen for years. I first met her from our old Farmer’s Market days in town. She always bought my big fluffy rolls, a jar of jelly and a pie.
I have been breathing borrowed air.
I am no longer who I use to be.
I struggle daily to love like Jesus.
Daily I ask, why did we choose this?
The pain of losing, yet gaining, plays with my soul.
Moment by moment I feel the real struggle; die to self.
My heart has been invaded with the faces of children, who aren’t mine – who haven’t been claimed, by anyone.
We’re asked”why?” “Why would you do this?”
One minute, my heart bursts with exuberant joy.
The next, my heart breaks into millions of pieces, as tears invade my face.
It’s true, my heart has been, disassembled.
My goal for 2017 is to record each months blessings that I have caught my attention; while also looking for ones I may not have otherwise seen, if I wasn’t looking for them in the first place. My desire it to train my eyes to seek out God’s glory in the everyday, while I spend my year glory-chasing. I want these monthly posts to give praise to Jesus alone for each blessing, or lesson I have learned.
