I have been breathing borrowed air.
I am no longer who I use to be.
I struggle daily to love like Jesus.
Daily I ask, why did we choose this?
The pain of losing, yet gaining, plays with my soul.
Moment by moment I feel the real struggle; die to self.
My heart has been invaded with the faces of children, who aren’t mine – who haven’t been claimed, by anyone.
We’re asked”why?” “Why would you do this?”
One minute, my heart bursts with exuberant joy.
The next, my heart breaks into millions of pieces, as tears invade my face.
It’s true, my heart has been, disassembled.
I actually blog more, than it appears on your screen. Sometimes I tuck my thoughts and words away for awhile, or just never publish them at all. You see, I’m never sure if I should share something publically or not. And in this case, it was written during a really challenging down time. A couple months of real, raw struggle and pain. I don’t want people to have pity on my struggles, yet I don’t want to hide them – because too often people only see the rosy side of things, and let me tell you — it’s not all sunshine and roses over here. Promise. 😉read more
•For eyesight. And the provision for new glasses. God provides.
•For clearer direction; and like mindedness. He breaks the chains of our hearts, to help us see areas that need more work in our lives.
•When our hearts remain heavy; we can rest assured – God knows and He is perfectly able. And if He doesn’t take this away; there is a perfectly good reason. I just need to grow and keep trusting.
I apologize in advance for how much this past months post involves food. There seems to be an unintentional pattern. I’m sure my thighs are paying for it. 😉read more
My goal for 2017 is to record each months blessings that I have caught my attention; while also looking for ones I may not have otherwise seen, if I wasn’t looking for them in the first place. My desire it to train my eyes to seek out God’s glory in the everyday, while I spend my year glory-chasing. I want these monthly posts to give praise to Jesus alone for each blessing, or lesson I have learned.read more
While 2016 went out with a big bag, I felt it was a difficult yet well blessed year. My one word for the year was “Faith” and the Lord used it in very big ways. Bigger than I ever anticipated or dreamed. This “crazy faith” stuff is kind of an addicting thriller ride for life, and it has left me wanting more. As the last chapter of 2016 was being penned – I was certain what my word for 2017 would be. God proved Himself over and over again, by His faithfulness to our family, and this one little word kept creeping into my heart…read more
Over the years I occasionally through trial and era have tossed out several pounds of my brittle failure. I even chewed and chewed, and swallowed because I couldn’t stand seeing it tossed out. Well, this year once again – I made my favorite Christmas delight like I do each year. Mind you, I haven’t had a failed attempt for a couple years now, this recipe is AMAZING and super easy. It really will give any non cook kitchen credibility that will make them soar! Serious business people. But this was THE year for a failure to happen.read more
We went into this adoption knowing there were possible signs of scary health issues, and many unknowns. A minimal medical file, and very little information. We didn’t have much to go on. No one could have anticipated the valley’s we’d have to go through, or the mountains we’d conquerread more
This hard core, down right deep love, reminds me of God’s continual, unconditional love for us. Its honestly how I’ve been getting through some of these days of rejection. Humbling to think such a thought. How God’s love is JUST LIKE THIS. He doesn’t give up on us. Just keeps showing us and teaching us.read more
After 36 hours of travel we arrived home July 9th after adopting our new daughter from Chin@.
Our lives will be forever changed in more ways than one. This trip was nothing like our first adoption trip. Not even close.read more
I began writing this post at the beginning of the day and saving it as a draft to post at the end of day. Well the day came to an end, and I was able to finish the post in a different way than I had originally anticipated or expected.read more
When I was a young, I enjoyed watching Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood. As a mother today, the shows available on TV today make me squirm. They have little to no educational value, let alone good morals. Nothing but mindless, worldly indoctrination. Over the years I have purchased a few Mr. Roger DVD’s to share with my children. Absolute treasures!read more